What We Get Right, What Holds Us Back, and How to Rise with Authority
When International Women’s Day comes around on 8 March, conversations about women in leadership gather a new energy, and there’s a surge of determination from women who want to lead well, live well and make a difference without losing themselves in the process. We have come a long way from the days when women in leadership was only just becoming the norm, but there are still a few questions to examine. What do women get brilliantly right as leaders? What unexpectedly trips us up? And how can we begin our leadership journeys in a way that feels authentic for us, rather than putting on some costume that’s ‘expected’ of us?
Rachel Collar, Founder and CEO of Haus of Coaching, has much experience from her own leadership journey, and the hundreds of other women leaders she’s known and supported over the years, and she reflects on these questions in this month’s blog post.
My Leadership Journey
From my many years in corporate HR, leadership coaching and HR consulting, I have learned that women bring three powerful qualities to the table.
The first is connection. We are natural relationship-builders: we listen, notice and remember. Teams led by women often feel psychologically safer because empathy is not seen as a soft, nice-to-have extra, but a core leadership skill that many of us bring naturally.
The second is perspective. Women are adept at seeing the whole picture – the people involved and how they’re responding and reacting, the layered politics and how they might impact, and the overall purpose – which makes us brilliant at navigating change.
And the third is courage. It may not always be noisy and outgoing, but it’s there in the willingness to question outdated systems while still caring deeply about the humans inside them.
But the very strengths that make us effective can also hold us back. Many women have been conditioned and socialised to ‘keep the peace’, and to be ‘grateful’ for opportunities rather than to claim them. I so often meet talented leaders who are doing exceptional work, but always hesitate to describe themselves as exceptional. When an opportunity comes up, they wait to be invited, instead of stepping forward. They consistently over-prepare and over-deliver, but just as often they play down their initiatives and successes. Authority becomes something to apologise for, rather than to own and inhabit.
So how do women rise with authority?
Rising with authority as women does not have to mean copying traditionally masculine models of leadership, because unless that comes naturally to you (and it’s fine if it does), it won’t be a style you can successfully maintain for long. Your leadership style should be about occupying space in your own way, with the quiet confidence that gives you.
That confidence grows when we stop asking, “Can I really do this?” and start asking, “What strengths can I draw on to do this?”. It happens when we say what we mean, instead of cushioning every message, and it flourishes when women support one another to achieve rather than competing for the one seat we have been told exists.
This is why initiatives such as the Women with Vision network matter so much to me. I’m so proud to be the face of this network at Northamptonshire Chamber of Commerce, and the message is simple: when women see other women leading, they begin to believe leadership is a natural home for them too. Women with Vision creates spaces where women in business can come together, see what others have achieved, and learn from each other too. Collaboration is celebrated, experience is generously shared, and the whole concept is a template for how women can achieve so much more when they support each other.
Leading through the Menopause
Another topic close to my heart is menopause awareness. Too many accomplished women find their confidence shaken in their 40s and 50s, just as they reach senior roles. Brain fog, anxiety, sleep disruption and hot flushes can make even the most capable leader doubt herself. For years this was whispered about, if mentioned at all. Thankfully the conversation is finally moving into the open.
Menopause is not a personal failing; it is something that workplaces are failing to manage. When organisations understand this, simple adjustments make an enormous difference: flexible hours, temperature control, access to health advice and, most importantly, cultures where women can say, “I’m struggling today,” without fearing it will derail their career. Aside from being the compassionate thing to do, supporting women through this stage is good business sense. We keep talented leaders in the game, and benefit from the wisdom they have spent decades building. What business would actively want to lose that valuable resource?
How do we continue to lead change?
I believe it starts with a few brave choices. First, tell the truth about your ambition. Wanting influence does not make you difficult - it makes you useful. Second, gather your allies. No one rises alone, and mixed networks of women and men are essential. Third, practise visible confidence. Speak your ideas before they are perfect. Ask for the role before you feel ready. Authority is built through action, not waiting.
And finally, look after the body that carries you. You might be navigating early-career pressure, caring responsibilities up and down the generations, or the complexities of menopause - self-care is leadership care. The way we treat ourselves sets the tone for the cultures we create.
International Women’s Day reminds us that progress is collective. Every woman who chooses to lead with integrity, kindness and courage widens the path for the next. My hope is that more women in Northamptonshire and beyond will claim that path with pride.
The world needs leaders who can blend strength with compassion and vision with practicality. Women have always been those leaders, and now it is time to lean into the authority that has been ours all along.
Ready to step into your next level of leadership - without shrinking, over-explaining or waiting to be chosen? If you want to build calm, credible authority and lead in a way that feels like you, let’s talk. Book a discovery call with me and we’ll map out what “rising with authority” looks like in your world.
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