How to Be a Leader When You Don’t Feel Like One
Stepping into a senior role can feel a bit like being handed the keys to a spaceship and being told, “Off you go!” You might smile and nod confidently in the boardroom, but inside there’s a persistent little voice whispering, “They’re going to find out I’ve no idea what I’m doing.”
One of our Haus of Coaching clients - let’s call her Sarah - walked into our first session looking every inch the executive-level leader. Newly promoted to the C-suite, impeccable suit, calm exterior; but the moment she sat down, she exhaled and said, “I keep waiting for someone to realise I’m not supposed to be there.”
And if you’ve ever felt that too, you’re in good company.
Even the most senior leaders we coach - CEOs, partners, founders - admit to moments of that creeping self-doubt that make you second-guess your decisions, compare yourself to others, or work twice as hard just to “prove” you deserve your seat at the table.
Promotions, restructures, new industries… the leadership transitions we make have a habit of shining a spotlight on our insecurities. Suddenly you’re no longer the expert in your field, you’re the decision-maker, and that can feel like standing on wobbly ground.
There’s a trick or two for dealing with that imposter syndrome, even at the highest levels – let’s have a look behind the coaching curtain and discuss a couple of them…
Transitions That Trigger the Doubt
Change and challenge is exciting, but it also shakes our foundations. Moving into a senior role often means leaving behind what you were great at – the familiar, the measurable, and the safe. Suddenly you’re navigating politics, strategy, and stakeholders instead of day-to-day tasks.
One of our clients moved from a functional leadership role into a group-wide strategic post. Overnight, her diary filled with board papers, investor calls, and leadership dynamics she’d never had to navigate before. She said, “I used to know where I added value. Now I’m not sure what I’m good at anymore.”
The trick here is to expect that wobble. Feeling unsure doesn’t mean you’re not capable, or shouldn’t be there – like anything else, it just means you’re learning. Give yourself a bit of grace during that adjustment period, because it’s all part of your evolution as a leader.
Build Trust in Yourself Before You Expect Others To
People take their cues from you, and if you don’t believe in yourself, it shows up in subtle ways: your tone, your body language, and your decision-making. So it’s vital to build trust in yourself if you’re going to inspire trust in others.
But building self-trust isn’t about empty affirmations, or pretending you’re confident when you’re not. It’s about noticing evidence of it, and proving it to yourself.
Try this simple exercise:
• Write down three examples of times you stepped up under pressure.
• Note what strengths you used and what the outcome was.
• Read that list every time your inner critic pipes up.
You’re not here by accident. You were promoted because others already saw something in you; they’re not wrong, and it’s time you saw it too.
Redefine What “Competence” Looks Like for You
When you climb the ladder, the definition of success changes. Earlier in your career, being good meant having the answers. In senior leadership, being good means creating the space for others to find them.
One of our top coaching moments came from a finance director who said, “I used to be the person everyone came to for solutions. Now I’m the one asking questions, and it feels like I’m adding no value.”
But that’s exactly what good leadership is: enabling clarity, not controlling it. Great leaders don’t perform miracles alone. They create space for others to shine, and they make good decisions with imperfect information, because they trust in the ability, knowledge and expertise of the people on their teams.
So if you don’t feel like the expert any more, reframe that: you’re now the expert in developing and trusting in the competence of your team to deliver what they’re employed to deliver.
Talk About It Honestly
There’s such a myth around confidence in leadership. We think it means never flinching, never doubting, never admitting we’re unsure. But the opposite of that builds far stronger teams; being real and authentic about how you’re feeling builds far more trust than bravado ever will.
When you share (appropriately) that you’re finding your feet in a new role, it shows self-awareness and openness. It also gives your team permission to be honest about their own learning curves, and all of that fosters a culture built on trust – which is much stronger than one built on performance anxiety.
Action Creates Confidence
Waiting to “feel” confident before acting is like waiting for the sea to calm before you learn to swim. Confidence isn’t a prerequisite; it’s a by-product of feeling nervous and doing the thing anyway. Every conversation you lead, every decision you make, every small win: they all reinforce your sense of capability. Over time, that inner voice quietens and you’ll realise you can do this, and the people who promoted you didn’t make a mistake – they knew exactly what they were doing.
Coaching your Imposter Voice Away
If you’ve just stepped into the C-suite (or are about to), and imposter syndrome is whispering in your ear, remember this: every leader you admire has stood where you are. The difference is, they learned to lead through the doubt, not wait until it disappeared – and you can too. We can help you get there. Drop us a line at Haus of Coaching to take the first step towards banishing that persistent little voice for good.
Share this post: